Now Listen Maxine,
It really is the thought that counts.
Greetings friends and happy Sunday!
Just kidding it’s not Sunday it’s Wednesday but yesterday someone sent photos from a recent shoot I did and if you’d asked me when it took place I would have said at least a month ago and probably more like six weeks. Readers, I just looked at the calendar and it was November 22.
What is time?
Last week on Twitter my friend Susanna called Advent “a time of structured waiting,” and omg I loved that so much. Hanukkah, which begins at sundown on Thursday, is celebrated to remember the provision of God, but isn’t it also about waiting? Those Maccabees (or Maccabeans as my son called them when he attended a Jewish preschool) holding their breath each day as they put torch to menorah and willed a miracle to happen. In the midst of wide open liminal spaces, these anchors of ancient time have been gifts, grounding me to the here and now.
Oddly enough, such presence also returns me to my past and this week as I planned the writing of this gift guide, I found myself thinking of one of the first times I witnessed what it was to give, not just buy.
As a high schooler, I had the great good fortune to have a circle of teachers who were also wonderful humans, one of whom taught me a lesson about gift giving that I’ve never forgotten. Every year in Mary Beth Craddock’s sophomore and senior classes, students were given the assignment of bringing in a gift that was not new, but precious to them, for her annual gift exchange. At the time, I was a deeply sentimental teenager who couldn’t imagine parting with beloved items and so, while I couldn’t tell you what I brought, I know it wasn’t a gift that hurt to give. My classmates on the other hand? Whew, did they show up, and I can still recall the jolt of recognition as I saw their willingness to not only reveal their hearts, but share them.
I evolved in the ensuing years, learning the multiplicative joy in taking something I loved and passing it on to someone who would love it as well. My first year out of college I led a Bible study with Bob Lehleitner, mentor and friend of the highest order. It was a small group of high school seniors and when I told them about Mary Beth’s giving idea and asked if they’d like to do it, they were all in.
To this day I can’t get over the gifts they brought - one girl gently wrapping the sugared figurine so special she’d saved it for 12 years after it topped her fifth birthday cake. The homecoming queen from that year’s ceremony BROUGHT HER CROWN, and a burly football player whose days on the field were now over, wrapped up his jersey. A double gift when Bob gifted the fancy Chiefs jersey which had just been given to him as chaplain of the team. Y’all I was undone.
In the years since, I’ve had no money and I’ve had plenty, and despite the particular parental joy that came when I got to give one of my children some special object from their wish list, the the greatest and most long-lasting joy has always come from giving and receiving objects of the heart.
If you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, this may be a year when you can purchase whatever gifts you desire and if that’s the case I hope you’ll still make space for at least one offering that is a treasure of the heart, if only to remind yourself that the best thing we can ever share is something of ourselves. For many people, 2020 is a different experience and if you’re having that kind of year, I wish you grace in the midst of it, people to hold you, and a reminder that no purchase can ever accurately convey the enormity of love.
And now, the First Annual Now Listen Maxine Holiday Gift Guide
Here is something the people in my family say about my daughter-in-law Tabitha, “What can’t she do?” We do not have an answer yet, but you do have a spectacular option for giving, as she’s opened her own Etsy shop in order to sell the gorgeous purses she’s making - all from upcycled and scrap fabrics so you can feel good about doing your part for the environment, all while looking fancy af. Sleepy Sharpton on Etsy
Do you live in Kansas City? Do you enjoy baked goods, especially pie? Then please reach out to my friend Casey aka The Pie King KC. He’s another multi-talented human, a writer and artist who started baking pies last year and will be opening a pie shop next year. I sent two to friends at the start of the pandemic because I wanted to support him and both of them gave rave reviews. Just message him on Instagram (there’s a menu at the top of the page) to place your order and he’ll take it from there!
Brendan Curran told me once that our family held the record for most kids from the same family who’d been in his math classes. He also coached both younger sons basketball teams and became a dear friend along the way. Eighteen months ago he started ThreeKC, a clothing design company, and we love his work! So does his old friend Jason Sudeikis, so if you’ve ever wondered how you could get one of the cool KC shirts that you see on Ted Lasso, THIS IS HOW. Of course, you should also get a Ted Lasso shirt because that show is a gd delight.
Lizzie No is one of my favorite singers on the planet and despite the challenges of being a musician who was supposed to be on tour during this pandemic, she has created even more and built community from her living room. Her new EP, Holidays, will be released on the 15th, but I am equally partial to everything she writes. A NOTE: When buying music, always check the Bandcamp site first as they have the most favorable financial arrangement with artists. And if you buy on Fridays, the artists get 100% of the proceeds. Narcissus, the song below is from her 2019 album Vanity and it’s such a banger that I’ve had it on repeat for days at a time and literally never tire of it.
My friend Annie Presley’s newest book about Sam, the shelter dog that she and her family adopted, is out just in time for Christmas. Sam Sees Santa Claus has almost as much personality as the original Sam had, especially when he’s so beautifully illustrated by former Hallmark artist John Keeling. For the children and the dog lovers in your life, this is a perfect gift.
Last year Luke Denison came up to Washington Heights for a reading of a pilot script I’d written, not knowing that he was the person I had in my head when I was writing the character. Part of the reason was because of how much fun it was to see him perform twice in NYC. While nothing can replace the joy of live music, his song, Waterboard Me with Tequila, is so catchy you’ll feel like you were there. You can buy his music on iTunes.
I met the members of the band, Making Movies when I was working for Kansas City’s regional arts council and honestly, they’re four people who give me hope in this world. While in their 20’s, they started a music school for kids that they continue to run and they are tireless in their work on behalf of the community, all while touring and writing music and hustling hard. A little over two years ago that work started to pay off when superstar Ruben Blades found one of their videos online. Since then they’ve collaborated on multiple projects. I always feel cooler than I actually am when I listen to their music, but when I wear this tank top they designed, I believe it. You can find music, merch, and their story here.
Finally, in the spirit of waiting, here are some stunning origami pins that my friend Kinnaird (who I met during my first tour in NYC and tracked down via the Interwebs on my second) has been making, just for fun, while we wait out the pandemic. I’m waiting for the day she decides to sell them, but for now the gift is in the making.
The best ones always are.
Y’all are the real gifts. Thank you as always for your presence in this space.
I loved this especially the reference to MB’s annual gift exchange. Is there anything that woman did in the classroom that didn’t turn into a golden memory or indelible piece of knowledge? I’ve been blessed to have her as a friend- I can’t imagine what a blessing it would be to have her as a teacher!